Superman: Okay, we've convened this meeting of The Justice League of America in order to determine the status of Aquaman as an A-level superhero. Now, Aquaman, would you like to make any sort of opening statement.
Aquaman: Yeah, I'd like to make a statement. This is totally bogus. I've been an A-level superhero for decades. Everyone knows I'm an A-level superhero. I'm the king of the freaking sea, for God's sake. You guys suck.
Green Lantern: Your feelings have been noted for the record, Aquaman. Now, if I may, your only noticeable power is that you can breath underwater, correct?
Aquaman: No, in fact that is NOT correct.Green Lantern: Really? What else can you do?
Aquaman: I can talk to fish.
Green Lantern: I'm sorry.....Did you say that you can talk to fish?
Aquaman: Yes. I talk to the fish, and the fish talk back to me.
Green Lantern: I see......And.......Uh......What do the fish say to you?Aquaman: Lots of things.
Green Lantern: Humor me.
Aquaman: Well, they tell me if another fish is hurt.
Green Lantern: So that you can save the fish?
Aquaman: Exactly!!
Green Lantern: So, that's your super power? Saving fish.
Aquaman: Ye.....Well....There's more......I mean....That's not ALL I can do.
Flash: Well, what ELSE can you do.
Aquaman: Well, I can throw REALLY hard water balls.
Flash: I'm sorry...Water balls?
Aquaman: Yes. I spin the water up with my hand, really fast, then I can throw it really hard at something.
Flash: So, let's say Lex Luther were doing something bad, you could throw a VERY hard....uh....Water ball at him?
Aquaman: Right!! Now you guys are getting it.
Flash: But...He would have to be underwater.
Aquaman: Well....Yeah.
Flash: I see.....And....Uh....What major crime against mankind could he commit....uh.....underwater?
Aquaman: Well, he could make really big waves, I guess.
Flash: And you could stop this?
Aquaman: Well....No.
Flash: But, you could tell the fish about it.
Aquaman: Are you being a wise-ass!?!!
Flash: No, no, no.....Let me ask you, do the fish tell you anything else? You know, like to kill people, or anything?
Aquaman: HA-HA-HA....Very funny.....What's your power, huh? You run really fast? Wow!!
Flash: Well, I do it ON LAND....You know....Where the bad guys generally are.......Not, underwater......Where they AREN'T.....You see the difference?
Superman: Uh....If we could try to keep this civil. Don't think we arent' looking into YOUR powers, too, Flash. Alright? It feels like we're giving EVERYONE A-level superhero status, these days.
Aquaman: Yeah!!!
Superman: Now, Aquaman, aside from your amazing abilities to...uh...breath underwater, and throw waterballs, is there anything else?
Aquaman: Such as?
Superman: Well, how about super strength? You look like you work out.
Aquaman: Well, you know, I try and stay in shape.
Superman: Okay....And, the strength?
Aquaman: Well......I mean.....I can bench about 250.....Is that super?
Superman: No.....Not really.
Aquaman: What can you bench?
Superman: A building, or two.
Aquaman: Oh.....That's good, too.
Superman: Yeah, is there anything else?
Aquaman: I can swim fast........
Flash: While you're talking to the fish?
Aquaman: Shut-up!!!
Green Lantern: You know, I'm really not seeing anything REALLY super, here.....
Aquaman: Well, what about you, Lantern boy!!!
Green Lantern: What about me?
Aquaman: YOU aren't super.
Green Lantern: Am too!!!
Aquaman: ARE NOT!!! Your RING is super. YOU just happen to be wearing it. Without that ring, you're NOTHING!!!!!
Green Lantern: That's not the point. I DO have the ring. So, there......
Aquaman: It's not even MUCH of a super ring, really. You have to charge it. If you don't charge it, you got nothing. You give me that ring, with my other powers, I'd rock!!!!
Flash: Underwater?
Aquaman: Shut-up, Flash!!!!
Flash: While you're talking to the fish?
Aquaman: You're lucky we're on land!!!!!
Flash: Or you'd throw water at me?
Superman: I'm not gonna tell you guys again.....
Aquaman: What about Wonder Woman?
Superman: What about her?
Aquaman: What's super about her?
Superman: Let's not get into this.....
Aquaman: Her invisible plane?
Superman: I am not going to discuss her with you!!
Aquaman: I can get an invisible plane!!!!
Superman: There's more to it than that....
Aquaman: Is it the lasso? Hell, I can get a rope, too.
Superman: It's complicated.
Aquaman: The bracelets?
Superman: She does....OTHER.....things that are super...
Aquaman: What?
Superman: OTHER.......THINGS......OKAY?
Aquaman: I........OOHHHHHHHHHHHHH............
Superman: Okay, why don't we just.....
Aquaman: No, no....I'd like to stay on this for a minute.....
Superman: I....I don't think that's necessary, really.....
Aquaman: Nooooooo.....By all means......Tell us about the "OTHER" things that Wonder Woman does for you.
Superman: Listen, I think you've made an excellent case. Breathing underwater, swimming fast, talking to fish, and throwing hard water......That is an A-level superhero if I've ever seen one....
Aquaman: Are you sure? Because I'd be happy to look deeper into this, as well as what Batgirl is bringing to Batman's.....uh.....table....
Superman: No, no.....We're fine. It's all good. I don't see any reason to move forward.
Aquaman: Well, I'm glad you guys could see it my way.
Flash: Tell the fish we said hi.
Aquaman: SUCK IT, FLASH!!!!!
Casey
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8 comments:
LOL I love it, too many super heros anyway
Love it!!
They really should have some sort of screening process to get into the Justice League. What was up with the Wonder Twins? The boy could only turn into a water based item.
You're Aquaman, aren't you?
BTW i'm trying to figure what is freakier... that you thought of this and wrote it all out...
or that I read the whole thing, laughing!
Did you figure out how to download the pictures yet?
Thats freaking hilarious
even though you are a freak for finding it an posting it
Later
Finding it? All posts by me are original works. I didn't find it. I slaved over a hot computer, for you, and this is the thanks I get?
Casey
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This is freaking hilarious, Casey! I'm putting this in the mental 'laugh' file... Sadly, this sounds so familiar to what just went on in my building this year.
Val! You over simplified the boy wonder twin's powers. He could be ice, or vapor (invisible), he was pretty good!
Oh, Casey, you really need to update your profile, unless you are waiting until your son actually graduates high schoool.
8/3/08 Casey- I've been working later into the day so I kinda miss all your humor by ear...but that blog on the super heroes!!!! FAN- FRIGGIN- TABULOUS!!!! omg,,,trying not to laff out loud @ work ....when is your book coming out? I'd buy it i swear!!!!!
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