MR. ANSWER GUY!!!!!!!!!!

MR. ANSWER GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was talking to my friend, Samantha, the other day. I like to talk to younger people, and try to pass on the wisdom that 38 years of living have brought me. It went something like this:

Sam: I'm trying to work things out with my ex-boyfriend.

Me: Men suck!!

Sam: But, he's nice, and.....

Me: They suck!!!

Sam: We just had a lot going on, and I thought that if I.....

Me: Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck!!!!

Sam: I......

Me: SUCKSUCKSUCK...Men are cockroaches who only want to have sex with my daughter, and eat the cereal I left on the counter, which I was CLEARLY going to finish when I got up the next morning.

Sam: (sigh)

Me: Satan lives in a man's pants!!!!

Sam: I have to go, now.

Me: Me too. I have to shave the left side of my back.

Do you see what I did there? I took a young girl's problem, broke it down psychologically, crystallized it, and presented it back to her in a way that she could understand. Probably in a way that she had never thought of, and she'll now be able to view it with the simplicity that is neccessary to make the right decision.

Then it struck me. There is a hole, here, that needs to be filled.....That's a very sexist, masculine way to look at things. Implying that everything is just another hole that us big, strong men need to come in and fill, in order to make everything right with the world. If I were a woman I would be insulted, and offended. But, I'm a man. So, there's a hole to be filled.

As a public service to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.....I have decided to solve all of your problems. Dear Abby is old. It's time for a new voice, to lead the people out of their messed up lives. It's time for.........MR. ANSWER GUY!!!!!!!

Mr. Answer Guy will answer all of your questions, and help you to improve your life, with the clarity that you read above. It's so simple that it's, dare I say, GENIUS?

Simply send all your questions to mranswerguy@gmail.com

Mr. Answer Guy will then review all of your problems, solve them for you, and post them here in this blog. That way, I don't have to come up with new things to write about all the time.

'Tis a far, far greater thing that I do.........Or something like that.

Casey