Wednesday, February 20, 2008

My Own Private Hell.......

My Own Private Hell......

I don't sleep much.

I want to. I lay in bed. I turn off all the lights, and I put on my pj's.

But, I just lay there.

I've read all my books, and I've seen everything on TV.

There's no one to call. At least, no one who would appreciate a phone call, from me, at 2am.

Remember, when you first started dating someone, and you were all lovey-dovey, and you could call them anytime you wanted to, just to tell them that you were lonely, and were thinking about them?

Yeah, that goes away (along with certain sexual acts), after you get married. I don't think my wife, who is 6 months pregnant, would appreciate me calling in the wee hours of the morning. So, enjoy that one (along with the other things) while it lasts.

I couldn't call my friends. They would call me vulgar names, and hang up. Most of them have wives (who also won't do that anymore), and kids of their own. 2am phone calls from Casey, just 'cuz, won't fly.

So, I lay in my bed, and my mind wanders......A lot.

What would I do if I had a million dollars?

I still hate my ex-girlfriend, from years ago. Should I let that go?

What will my son look like? Will he be bigger than me? Most of the people in my wife's family are really tall. If he's taller than me, will he still have to do what I say? My daughter already doesn't, and I'm taller than her.

Why do I wear pj bottoms, with ducks all over them?

If I was going to kill someone, how would I do it? What would I do about the blood? I guess I could lay down some kind of mat. But, the person at the hardware store might wonder why I was buying a big mat. I guess I would have to kill them, too. Then, I would need two mats. Of course, I would have two bodies that I would have to get rid of. How would I do that? Honestly, it's probably more trouble than it's worth. I don't think I'll kill anybody, just yet.

George Clooney really is good looking. Does that make me gay? Or, just comfortable with my masculinity? I like girls. I don't think I'm gay. But, still, he is a good looking guy. No. I can't be gay. Nothing's moving.

What was that noise?

I don't have any underwear. I should wash some. Why do we need underwear? Would we chafe without it? Why do some men steal panties? Is there something exciting about HAVING panties? I don't think so. I don't have any panties. I don't even have any to wash. I don't have anywhere to put them, anyway. My apartment is too small.....That's a funny word. Panties. lol.

Was that my car alarm? I wonder if someone is trying to steal my car. Should I stop them? Would they stop if someone wearing duck pj's came outside? Probably not. They would probably laugh at me, and steal my car anyway. I guess I'll find out in the morning. Did I leave anything in it that I want? No. I never leave anything in the car. They can have it. I hope they stay outside. If they come in, and see me in my duck pj's, I think I would have a real problem.
I wonder if there's anything on TV. I don't think so. Remote's all the way over there, anyway......I don't feel like getting up.

Did I brush my teeth?

Is the woman upstairs having sex? I think I've heard that, before. Hard to tell, though. Would it be rude to ask? Probably.

I wonder what my wife is doing. Probably sleeping. Maybe I should call, and find out. No. She would get mad.

At this point, I look at my clock. It reads 3am...........

Damn!!!!!

It's 3am. Why the hell can't I get to sleep?!!

(sigh)

If I were going to kill someone, how would I do it?

Casey

8 comments:

The Old Man and His Dog said...

You work with that hotty, Michele, with the big boobs and you're thinking about George Clooney? I was up from 2:30-4 AM too, but guess what? George Clooney, Panties and whether I had underwear never crossed my mind.

Wanna know why? I'M NOT A 45 YEAR OLD WOMAN, THAT'S WHY! HOLY CRAP CASEY GET A GRIP! and duck pj's? C'mon all the cool guys wear southpark pj bottoms.

soulshine said...

FYI:Haywood Banks, a children's song writer from West Virginia, recorded a song, "If Pigs Had Wings!" May be good for your Flying Pigs hour.....

TooTallToBe13 said...

Wow Casey you have an amazing mind don't you? I'm 13 and I listen to you and Ray all the time. You are doin great on the air cause when I first heard that Craig was leaving I though "Oh great now I'm gonna have to stop listening cause the new guy is gonna be horiible.". But I was wrong! Just like you and Ray say you've grown on me like mold!You are doing great Casey and I wanted to get to talk with you and Ray but I can't call since I'm so young which sucks! But I really like how you and Ray attack Governor Corzine in the "Hour of Flying Pigs." and I like how youre serious yet you add comedy into every hour you stay on. I wish good luck to you and youre wife on the new baby maybe we'll have a Mini Kermit out there? But good luck on the air and I'll still be listening daily.

triver23 said...

If [tootalltobe13] really is 13, then i have a nice toll road plan to sell you.

Unknown said...

Casey, I have been an insomniac forever--embrace the sleeplessness! If you get all hysterical about not sleeping, then you go around looking like an I-don't-get-any-sleep zombie! I always look great because I don't care if I sleep or not. Of course there is that whole refusal of your to wear make-up....

Unknown said...

Oh, puke, I left a typo on the last post--I really need sleep! Who am I kidding?? My brains are fried....And I only look good because I hang out in dim light. SOB!
Just kidding, have a good day and get some sleep--whoops! Just can't win here.

Lisa said...

Casey, you ROCK!! I'm so glad you're back on 101.5, it was a LONG 4+ years without you!!

Congratulations on the new baby on the way! Your son will probably be taller than you, definitely if you make sure he gets milk with those growth hormones in them.

George Clooney IS hot, and I can appreciate a man who appreciates the attractiveness of another man.

And I've always thought the word 'panties' was funny.

Unknown said...

*sigh*

If you need to, you can call me at 2 am. I'm not hot, I'm not crazy, and I'm not promiscuous. And I'll probably be sleeping, just like the rest of your friends. But I'm nice like that.