It’s All Fun And Games ’Til The Stormtroopers Shoot You In The Face!!!!
Ever since I spoke, on the talk show, about eye surgery, and how I would never do it, I have received multiple offers from what I'm sure are reputable eye doctors, to shoot lasers at my eyes.
I have respectfully declined them all.
You see, when I think of lasers, I think of the "Star Wars" movies. I imagine the eye doctor coming in, dressed like a storm trooper, and aiming one of those laser guns at my face.
ZAP!!!!!!
"There," he would say. "As soon as your head grows back, you'll be able to see!!"
Who got this idea, in the first place? Who decided that zapping human eyes with space guns would be a good idea?
Then, what moron agreed to let himself be shot in the face with a laser?
Guy 1: "Earl, you been wearin' them glasses for a long time."
Guy 2: "Yep."
Guy 1: "Whaddya say you let me zap you in the face, with this here laser, and see if it makes you see better?"
Guy 2: "Sounds okay to me."
ZAP!!!!
Then, magically, he could see?
That sounds kind of risky. I hope it was a little more clinical than that. I hope that they, at least, tested it on prisoners first.
I know that some people will tell me that they had it done, and that it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, they can't make tears anymore. But, crying is for sissies. Plus, I've always thought that being able to see, at night, was overrated. I mean, if God had intended us to see at night he wouldn't have made it so dark, right?
These people are like cult members. These "SEE-ERS," if you will.
"Do it."
"It's great."
"I'm sexy, now."
"Just make sure they don't blow your face off, with the laser gun."
Personally, I think that the laser penetrates their eyes, and gets into their brains. They are then reprogrammed to think that shooting lasers at your face is a GOOD idea, and are driven by an unknown force to convert as many other people as they can. Sort of like the people who voted for Ron Paul, only less crazy.
Are my glasses SO hideous?
My wife likes them......True, it may be because they hide part of my face. But, we've been married for 11 years, and I've learned not to ask those kinds of questions.
I also like being able to see at night. Granted, I don't go out at night, because nobody loves me and I don't have any friends. But, still, if I did go out I would like to be able to see.
Finally, and I don't care what you think, but I like a good cry every now and then........Just look at my previous blog about the Air Supply songs on my ipod............DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!
Casey
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5 comments:
Amen...agree 100%. I won't wear contacts either. I'll be wearing glasses till the day I die. No laser surgery or contacts for me. I only have two eyes and nobody is touchin em unless I'm going blind if they don't. Same goes for unnecessary cosmetic surgery, tummy tucks, face lifts, nose jobs, and stomach banding or stapling when your 30 lbs overweight. If you think I'm wrong then take it up with Donda West.......oh that's right she's DEAD! due to unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Sucks to be vain, but hey I'm sure there will be more sexy, thin, wrinkle free people without glasses in heaven. IDIOTS!
What about going out in the rain and not being able to see from the water streaming down your glasses, or coming inside from the cold and your glasses fogging up for an obnoxious few seconds, or even more so..pulling a sweatshirt over your head and your glasses falling off your face? Or not being able to see in the shower? I'm not sure how I feel about laser eye surgery, but I heard they do have these new fangled things called contacts. They're catching on. :)
Sharks w/ freakin lazer beams.
Don't you just love how people who've had these surgeries are all giggly about it? Hey, I'm happy for them. Good for them. Don't shove it down my throat ok? Enjoy your newfound freedom from those awful spectacles. Apparently it's also affected their vocal chords too because they won't shut up about it. Heaven forbid anyone likes their glasses!
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