McDonald's: God's Food

As a parent, I can assure you that one of the biggest problems we face is getting our kids to eat properly. In the case of my son, at least, eating properly means putting the food in your mouth, and NOT your ear. Nothing good can come of that. Though, it is less fattening.

And, speaking of fattening foods, many of us who had children just so that we would have a little friend who wouldn't judge us, and were shocked to find out that we actually had to take care of them, will find solace in this news: McDonald's is now teaching moms about healthy foods.
Isn't that great?

I can hear fat parents, with their morbidly obese little snowflakes, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. Either that, or gasping for air. It's hard to tell with fat people.

Unfortunatley there is a catch.

McDonald's is not REALLY teaching moms about healthy foods. What they are doing is bringing a bunch of moms in, and trying to convince them that McDonald's food is actually VERY healthy.

You betcha!!

Any day, now, Whole Foods is gonna team up with Mickey D's, and start selling Chicken McNuggets in their frozen foods section.......Uh....Don't hold your breath on that one.

Debra DeMuth, McDonald's global nutrition director, has referred to french fries as.....get ready....."probably one of the most victimized foods."

Yep. Of course. Shame on us!! All of us!!! Victimizing the poor, helpless, innocent french fries......dripping in preservatives, and slathered in salt. How could we be such fools? Besides, where else are you gonna get your daily dose of sodium acid pyrophosphate?

Plus, we are told, french fries are also an excellent source of potassium. Of course, you could just eat a banana. But, now I'm just nit picking.

We are also told, and expected to get very excited by the fact that, Egg McMuffin's contain REAL EGGS!!!! Eggs are good, right? Everyone likes eggs. That's healthy, is what that is. Plus, when you slather said eggs with a healthy dose of high fructose corn syrup, it's eating the way God intended it to be.

I've been eating at McDonald's all my life. At this point, with all this helpful information, I'm surprised I've ever even gotten a cold, much less cholesterol levels that would kill the average elephant.

You're probably saying to yourself, "Casey, can the news about all this healthy food at McDonald's POSSIBLY get better?"

Good question.

The answer is, yes. It can, AND DOES.

You see, Miss DeMuth, the health expert from McDonald's, had one more little bombshell to drop on the mother's that came to hear her speech.

It seems that ALL the internet stories are false (which is sad because, if you can't believe what you read on the internet, what CAN you believe.) The fact of the matter is that Chicken McNuggets actually contain......Ready?...........CHICKEN!!!!!!

Now, of course, they also contain sodium phosphates, thiamin mononitrate, sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate, and sweet, sweet dimethylpolysiloxane.

I know. I'm drooling a little bit myself.

So, parents, take heart. If you want to feed your kids a good, natural, healthy meal with things like potassium, eggs, and real chicken, all you have to do is take them to McDonald's.

They'll weigh 600 pounds, but at least they'll be eating healthy. And isn't that the important thing?

I like to think so.

Casey