Sometime, possibly in another life, I offended garbage men. Actually, I don't even thing that's the proper term, anymore. Perhaps, "Sanitation Maintenance Engineers" would be more fitting. I dunno.
Anyway, today was trash day in my little slice of suburban hell. So, last night I went outside, placed the lids tightly on my cans (hehe), and rolled them out to the curb. This morning, when I went outside, I found one of my cans (lol) across the street in the neighbor's yard. The lid was in my driveway. The other one of my cans (HA HA!!) was across my yard, with the lid in my next door neighbor's driveway.
This is not, at all, uncommon.
A few weeks ago I forgot to take the kitchen trash out (It's one of my chores.) So, when I heard the trash truck, I ran outside and tried to hand them my trash bag.
Me: Can I give you one more?
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: No.
Me: Okay, well....Wait....No?
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: It's gotta be in your can.
Me: Hehe
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: What?
Me: Nothing...Uh....So, if I put it in my can (snicker), you'll take it?
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: Possibly.
Me: Okay....Uhhhhh....Where is it?
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: Your can?
Me: HAHA!!!
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: What?
Me: Nothing...So, where is it?
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: It's two blocks over, that way.
Me: Oh...Uh...Good shot.
Sanitation Maintenance Engineer: The wind was with us.
Me: Of course.
So, for whatever reason, they have made a nice little sport of spraying my cans (sorry) all over the place. I don't know why. I don't know what I did. Whatever it was, I didn't mean to. I'm just trying to throw my garbage away. I swear to God.
This also, by the way, extends to the recycle people. I had put some boxes out, two weeks ago, and when I woke up they were gone. I just assumed that they recycle people had taken them away, and made shirts, or something, out of them that former hippies will spend way too much money to buy in "the villiage," or something like that. But, when I went to rake leaves this past weekend, I found my boxes had been thrown on the side of my house. My neighbor suggested that it might have been because I didn't break them down.
Huh?
They were little, tiny, baby boxes. I gotta break those down, TOO!?!!! How come? Correct me if I'm wrong, but when they take them, they immediately place them inside of a giant compactor. Broken down, or not, I think the giant compactor is going to be able to handle the job. If it can't, they need to get their money back. And, even if they DO need to be broken down (and I'm conceeding nothing here), is it okay to hide them from me on the side of my house?
I think not.
Besides, take it from someone who has moved more times than I care to mention, breaking down boxes is a major pain. Have you ever gotten a paper cut from a cardboard box? Bloody and painful. Not a pretty sight. They could make horror movies out of that kind of stuff.
But, fine. I can play by the rules. I can break down the boxes. I don't like it, but I'll do it.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go get my cans (LOL). There was a good wind, and I think they might be in Newark.
Casey
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8 comments:
What happened to your 5 readers?
Shoot, the first guy got here first, I was gonna remark at your lack of readers as well. (cans)
You remind me of a 12 year old boy... cans.. lol
Ok - so my husband pissed of our garbage men by trying to recycle half full plastic bottles. Yes, he knows he's supposed to empty them, but he just figured they'd be crushed anyway. Well, the garbage men neatly lined up all of the half full bottles along our drive way so we couldn't pull in or out with out running them over. My husband got the hint. Now he's afraid to put anything out that's not 100% following the rules. Chicken.
Some people read your blog!
I am just happy when my recycling bins wind up in front of my house afterwards.
December 6th, 2008 - Mt Laurel, NJ OSDA Championship - Roller Derby
http://oldschoolderbyassociation.com/championship/webatkinsoncup.jpg
Wait, they will get nicer. They will start putting them ever so nicely on the curb with the lids. They are sucking up for their holiday tip!!!
Could be worse. I live on a cul de sac and they left my cany half way in the street and ran one of them over and than denied it! I love in the summer when they come up to my house and use my hose for water and rinse off. I now make sure my hose is smack dab in the middle of garden and spread out so the sun will heat it up to 150 degrees!
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