With Father's Day in the air, I thought I would share a recent conversation I had with my 8 year old daughter, Spenser. I do this more as a public service than anything else. You see, I'm a very worldly man. I've seen many things, and I have thought many thoughts. So, I find myself uniquely prepared to deal with situations that come up, involving my children. I think that you should all take note, and then send me money for helping to raise your child.
Spenser: Daddy?
Me: Yes.
Spenser: Why do boys like to watch girls walk?
Me: I.....uhhhhhhh....What?
Spenser: Why do boys like to watch girls walk?
Me: Well.....uhhhhh.....Because......They.....uhhhh.....uhhh.....Why do you ask?
Spenser: It's in that song.
Me: What song?
Spenser: The Gwen Stefani song.
Me: WHAT Gwen Stefani song?
Spenser: The winding one.
Me: The winding one?
(Note: Further research found that Gwen Stefani has a song callled "Wind It Up." In this song, she sings about boys liking to watch girls......Thank you, Ms. Stefani.......VERY MUCH!!!)
Spenser: So?
Me: So, what?
Spenser: So, why do boys like to watch girls walk?
Me: Where did you hear this song?
Spenser: It's on my ipod.
Me: How did that get on your ipod? I only put Beatles songs on your ipod, because I only wanted you to hear good music.
Spenser: Mommy put it on there. She said you were being silly, and took the Beatles songs off and put on a bunch of girl songs.
Me: Oh.
(Note: Thank you, Mommy.........VERY MUCH!!!)
Spenser: So?
Me: So, what?
Spenser: So, why do boys like to watch girls walk?
Me: Well....I think I hear your friends, outside.....Don't you want to go play with them?
Spenser: They aren't home. They went to Six Flags.
Me: Oh.
Spenser: Are you going to answer my question?
Me: Why do boys like to watch girls walk?
Spenser: Yes.
(I want you all to feel free to copy my answer down, so that you can give the same answer to your child when they ask you a similar question. I'm not exactly known for thinking on my feet. But, I truly believe that this is going to be taken, and used by the so-called "parenting experts" as a way to seize an opportunity to communicate with your child, and use it to your advantage. In fact, I would not be at all surprised if Dr. Phil were to call, and use me as a shining example to parents everywhere.)
Me: Well.....Uhhh.....You see, sweetie.....There's.......Girls are, sort of........I mean.......Boys like.......uhhhh......Boys........Boys like transportation, right?
Spenser: Huh?
Me: (I was rolling!!!) Boys like transportation. You know how all of Max's baby clothes have cars, and boats, and trains on them?
Spenser: (cautiously) Yeah.....
Me: (I was in a zone!!!) Boys.....Boys like transportation.....You know.....Th....Things that move......That's....uhhh....That's why it's all over their clothes......and....uh......and.....most.....uh......most of.....uh....their.....you know......most of their toys are cars, and things..........I mean.....you know.....stuff that moves. Right?
Spenser: Okay.....
Me: So.....you know......When....uh.....When a girl is walking.....She's.....uh......She's moving.....Like.....Like......uh.....a car, or a boat, or something.......So......you see it's not that....you know....they're....uh......It's not that they're watching the GIRL, necessarily......But......you know......the girl just happens to be moving.......you know......Like.....Like a car might.......and......uh......and since boys like cars and things like that......uh.......They watch them, because they are moving........Like cars......Okay?
Spenser: So, boys think girls are like cars?
Me: That's what I'm going with, yes.
Spenser: Boys sure are silly.
Me: Aren't they? You'd be better off just to avoid them, altogether. They really serve no purpose. Mommy and I have talked about giving Max away, more than once. It's just pointless to have a boy around.
Spenser: You can't give Max away.
Me: I know. That's what Mommy said.
Spenser: Where are you going?
Me: I'm gonna go find Gwen Stefani's daddy. I would like to punch him in the mouth.
Happy Father's Day!!!
Casey
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8 comments:
WOW
haha thats funny....got a ? casey...how are john corizine and jim mcgreevy different.....mcgreevy was taken it in the butt and corizine is tryin to put it in the but of the new jersians
Casey,
I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I'm obviously not a Dad. In fact, I don't have any children. But I was raised with 6 siblings. Many Nieces & Nephews. And helped raise a deadbeat Mom's children for a few years. So I'm slightly qualified to give my opinion.
The FIRST thing I thought of as I STARTED reading this was, "Go ask Mommy!"
While thinking to myself, "Hmmm, Mommy put Gwen Stefani's in your IPod, and said Daddy's being silly. Let Mommy sweat to find the answer to this one." You also could have said, "I don't know sweetheart. Walking is just walking, just like Me, You, Mommy & someday soon Max. Go ask Mommy, because she's a girl. Maybe she might know more on why Gwen Stefani's says such a silly thing in her song.
Casey, I hate to say it but as she gets older, the questions will get harder! But at least she's asking You or Mommy. Not a kid at school.
Good Luck Casey...Isn't Fatherhood WONDERFUL?
Your Friend & Fan,
Dorothy
P.S. LOL....See I read your Blog!
You totally failed. Just like you failed when you sent me actually spam for playing along with June 6th being the anniversary of the drive in. (and it wasn't even a can of spam it was once single serving!)
I digress..
I have 2 boys. 9 & 7 years old and they ask all sorts of questions!
Like one day the 9yo asked me "Mommy why is he calling the house a "she"?"
Confused mommy - "what?"
"in that song mommy, he says she's a brick house, why is he caling the house a she"
"he's talking about her boobs son"
Lots of giggling from the back seat
So I think the next time your daughter asks a question like that, you should be honest.
Why do boys like to watch girls walk? Because boys like shiny sparkly pretty things and are easily amused.
Simple, and truthful and usually makes them happy.
Have fun with that!
LOL your wife deserved the "ask your mom" but you deserve credit for fielding the question. Give it a few years, it gets even better, my daughter is 14, we've a few good ones.
Susan
that is a hilarious story... way to navigate that mine field!
Good one!
Hehe that was funny!
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