And Then God Said, "Let There Be The '80's." And It Was Good.

Here at the U.S. Department Of We-Better-Spend-This-Money-Or-They-Won't-Give-It-To-Us-Again-Next-Year, we have decided to name "The Greatest Decade."

So, with a $400,000,000 grant from Congress, we set out on our mission. It was really quite simple. By a majority vote of 1-0, as I am the only member, the department decided to pick.....MY decade.

Though I was born in 1969, and much too young to remember much about the '70's, I consider the '80's to be MY decade......And it was GREAT!!!!

We had the best TV.

We had the best movies.

We had the best music.

And, we were the first decade since the 1920's, and the last one since, NOT to have a war!!!

We ROCKED!!!!!

Now, I know that there are people out there who would disagree with me. However, those people are wrong and you shouldn't spend any of your time talking to them. In fact, they have probably escaped from some sort of institution. Run.................RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN.

You wanna talk about music?

Bring it!!!

In the '80's we had:

Duran Duran
Men At Work
Huey Lewis and The News
A-Ha
Debbie Gibson
U2 (It was their best decade)
Kajagoogoo
Men Without Hats
Oingo Boingo
Thomas Dolby
Big Country
The Blow Monkeys
The Go-Go's
The Bangles
Dexy's Midnight Runners
Culture Club
Wham (Laugh if you want. But, you like "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"......Yes, you do)

Who did the '70's have?

The Hues Corporation?
Gordon Lightfoot?
America?
James Taylor?
The Bee-Gees?
Linda Ronstadt?

Please. I'm dozing off just thinking about it. Even David Soul had a hit record. Was he Starsky or Hutch? I always got those two confused.

Yes, there was good music in the '70's. But, it gets canceled out by the over abundance of crap. I'm an Eagles fan, and I like Led Zeppelin. I just can't get past Gilbert O'Sullivan.

Then, outside of The Beatles, who are the best band EVER, the '60's were awful. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Casey, what about The Rolling Stones? Aren't they, too, good?"

No. They aren't. It's a common mistake. Don't feel bad.

Then, there's the music of the '90's, which I personally think we should erase all the master tapes of, so that future generations won't know that people actually listened to it. It's embarrassing. I recently heard that the ultimate '90's band was Nirvana. Really? Nirvana? Didn't they only release something like 2 albums? Even those weren't very good.

I'm going to say something, here, that's going to cause a lot of the "'90's People" to cover their ears, and rock back and forth, muttering to themselves. But, it needs to be said. Ready? Okay.......Kurt Cobain was not, I repeat NOT a genius. He was a crazy, drug addict, who lucked into a record deal. Period.

Don't cry.

I'm sorry.

Do you need a moment?

Okay. We'll wait.

.............................

Back now?

Dried those tears?

Good. You'll be okay.

I would put ANYTHING from ANY '80's band, up against ANYTHING written by Kurt Cobain, and I would win. Of course, you do have to consider that I'm the only one on this committee. So, it might be a little slanted. But, still........

How about this? "The Safety Dance" against "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

"The Safety Dance"

"We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cuz your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine."

Poetry. Short. Sweet. To the point. Plus, it has a message: "I only want friends who can dance." It is genius in its simplicity.

Now, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"Gurgle, nurgle, furgle, boo. Crongo, skiboo, tongoo my head. Frinkle, fronkle, dinkle, skoo-boo, skoo-boo, skoo-boooo"

Huh?

Yeah. That was.....uh....genius. You bet.

In my personal life, I don't acknowledge the '90's, and now you know why.

In future reports we will discuss why the '80's had the best movies, and TV shows.

Also, Friday, "Ask Mr. Answer Guy" returns. Last minute questions should be sent to mranswerguy@gmail.com

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a committee meeting to get to. Your tax dollars at work!!

Casey